Brown's paraprosdokians

My friend Alex Brown has sent me some delightful paraprosdokians, shared herewith:

 Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

 Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

 We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

 You're never too old to learn something stupid.

(The last of these offers an excellent example of ways in which a comma can change all meaning:  You’re never too old to learn something, stupid. GJP)